You Can Change

I believe that all mankind can change and better themselves. I t is usually us that doesn't allow them to, or give them the chance to prove themselves. Why try if we set them up for failure. I dedicate this to all who desire to change and better themselves. * you will have to scroll down and pause the playlist before you play the song.

There are days

You stumble and you fall

And sometimes through it all

You think you'll never stand again

There are times

When choices weigh you down

And bend you to the ground

That's a place that we've all been … but

You can change

You can turn your heart around

A brand new start can be found

If you'll only take one step

You can change

Wrap your mistakes in a cocoon

And let them die

And emerge a butterfly

You can change

Now it's time

To finally spread your wings

And soar to higher things

You know the limit is the sky

As you go

If you sometimes fail

When your spirit's frail

Remember you were meant to fly

You can change

Wrap your mistakes in a cocoon

And let them die

And emerge a butterfly

Rock Bottom

Who came up with the idea that an individual needs to hit "Rock Bottom" before they are able to seek the proper help and recovery that is needed in order to overcome and addiction? So far, there is not an actual medical statistic showing that that is necessary or that it truly exists. 

Who defines what Rock Bottom is? I believe that it is an individual thing. For some it may be a near death experience, others the loss of their family and friends. There is imprisonment, court ordered rehab, and health related issues. Then there are those who are overcome with grief just from knowing what they are doing is wrong. For many, Rock Bottom is located in a casket, and  can not be returned from. 

It is my belief that we are much to blame, especially when it comes to our teenagers and young adult children, when we give up on those we love under the guise that, " well, they aren't going to change. I just need to let them hit Rock Bottom first."  We fool ourselves into thinking that they will come around on their own. In some instances I believe that to be true. Some desire a different path and change. Then there are many who don't see what they are doing is wrong and never do change......then there are those with the most powerful testimonies of change and recovery. Those are the ones with gratitude in their hearts for the individuals who guided them, encouraged them, and believed they could change. 

Please don't wait for your loved one to hit "Rock Bottom". Reach out and catch them, or steady them before they fall. If they fall hard enough, they may not ever return.

My Path

 I have always been one of those people who likes to keep things quiet, especially the bigger the "item" of topic is. I do it for various reasons, the biggest being the fact that I like to know that it is something that will actually happen, or that I will follow through with. I hate the repeat of the disappointment that follows telling individuals who come to me and inquire about it, that it didn't or will not happen, or that there are bumps in the road.Well, this time is different.

I have decided to make an announcement in a very public way, because this time I need the support and encouragement of others. This is a very big step for me, and feel like the more who are on my side the better. After all, this blog is about my journey towards addiction healing, and owning my own center.

My announcement,.....That would be.......

I have found an addiction counseling center that is for sale and that I am in the process of trying to acquire it. This is a hard thing for me to disclose. I have people here (in Texas) that I love, and it will be very hard to relocate ( no, I am not disclosing the location at this time). It is also a difficult thing to tell an employer..." hey, I'm buying a business. I don't know when, or if it is really going to happen, so just sit tight and stop worrying, because you will never find someone who is qualified to replace me ;}" In addition to that, it is a difficult thing to acquire.

However hard, this is the road I want to travel. Disappointment may come but it is a challenge I am willing to accept and work towards, even if the outcome is not as I desire. In that case, I will place it among the many stepping stones that line my path towards the final goal. I can use all the support and encouragement I can get.

You Will Be Freed

You find what you are looking for

Great words that have inspired me lately. It is my hope that I am quick to forgive and find the good in others. I cannot expect the same courtesy if I am unwilling to extend this saving principle.

“The greatest good we can do in helping others become what they can become will be to lead them to the Savior.” Todd. D. Christopherson

"Have you ever noticed that people can usually find whatever they are looking for? Look hard enough, and you can discover both good and bad in almost anyone and anything. Those who look for the good will find a kind and compassionate people—a people who love the Lord and desire to serve Him and bless the lives of their fellowman. But it is also true that those who look for the bad will certainly find things that are not so ideal.

We have a choice. We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can make peace and work to extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find" .Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Bound

 

In the beginning, our experiment with potentially addictive substances and behaviors may appear harmless. We may even convince ourselves that it is something beautiful...Like this black ribbon in the picture. It temporarily brings us joy, satisfaction, and maybe even euphoria. We are deceived into believing that it is something that is of  good. We soon discover our ribbon is now a chain; A chain that has bound us and renders us helpless, dependent and trapped. We know there is a key to unlock this chain, but feel so helpless and the key seems so far out of our reach. We are bound so tightly...is it even possible to maneuver around to reach the key?

Satan’s plan for men is to lead “them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever” (2 Ne. 26:22). He will “pacify” them and “lull them away into carnal security” so that he can lead them “carefully down to hell” (2 Ne. 28:21).

The Savior holds the key to our freedom. Only he can unlock the padlock on our chains. Through him, an opening is made, but great effort will be required on your part to unwind the chains from upon you. He will assist you, and ultimately can aid in the removal of this great burden. He is the way....He IS the key!

Education on Heroin



It is important that we educate ourselves and understand what is out there. Do not put it past your children, your childrens friends, your relatives, your neighbor...etc.etc. It is prevelant, easily acessible, and you are surrounded by it and don't even realize it. Talk to your kids, educate, and protect what you have.

Trust

I think that we often assume that because forgiveness has been extended, that Trust has been restored with it. We need remember that trust and forgiveness are two separate issues. A person can repent, be forgiven long before he or she can earn trust again. We need to remember that just as the problem may have taken years to develop into what it is, it will take TIME to resolve.

"....being patient and understanding does not mean condoning, accepting, or enabling their partner’s behavior. It is critical that they establish clear, healthy boundaries and that their husband or wife understands what kinds of behaviors will not be tolerated."  Michael Gardiner

I believe that Trust can be restored. It takes TIME, EFFORT, and CONSISTENT behavior that warrants that trust. I think Trust is harder to gain than forgiveness is.

We All Bleed Red

 We All Bleed Red - Lovely song I just heard and wish to share! Enjoy!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSWcVUbjTk4

Signs of the times

When we think of the word "Plague" what is it that first comes to thought? Some will say disease, sores upon the body maybe. Then there is flies, or crickets....but how about pornography? Is that typically something that you would associate with a plague?

Throughout the Scriptures we are warned of plagues to precede the coming of the Lord, but who said that they are limited to ancient descriptions of plagues such as lice and frogs and boils upon the flesh? My friends I stand before you today and declare that pornography is indeed a plague that is rapidly overtaking us. It becomes increasingly difficult to find a man who has not in some form partaken in it. Women are not susceptible and our young ones are the targets for the future. It is a trap which is difficult to escape from. You can purge your body of a substance, but you can never fully purge your mind of images placed within. 

I quote Boyd K. Packer, 

"In our day the dreadful influence of pornography is like unto a plague sweeping across the world, infecting one here and one there, relentlessly trying to invade every home, most frequently through the husband and father. The effect of this plague can be, unfortunately often is, spiritually fatal.

We raise an alarm and warn members of the Church to wake up and understand what is going on. Parents, be alert, ever watchful that this wickedness might threaten your family circle."

I want to raise an alarm as well...We can not take enough precautions in order to keep this out of our home. We must "Inoculate" or "Vaccinate" ourselves against this. Wives, go ask your husbands if they have or are participating in this great evil! Listen with your heart, and if admission takes place please try and see it for what it is...It will hurt, but you both can get past it and grow through it together. Parents...place security measures on your televisions and most crucially on your computers. Talk to you children. YES, have this conversation with them. If you wait until you think they are old enough to understand, you will find that they have already been educated after the fashion of the world and will know far more than you had hoped and did not have the courage to speak with you regarding it.

If you have and or are suffering with this addiction, there are avenues to help you, there are steps to take to overcome this. YOU CAN CHANGE! But it requires great effort. Have faith, have courage, and surrender it to the Lord.

An Act of Genuine Unselfishness

“The suffering you endure from resisting or from leaving a life-style of addiction or perversion is not a hundredth part of that suffered by your parents, your spouse or your children, if you give up. Theirs is an innocent suffering because they love you. To keep resisting or to withdraw from such a life-style is an act of genuine unselfishness, a sacrifice you place on the altar of obedience. It will bring enormous spiritual rewards.

“Remember that agency, that freedom of choice that you demanded when you forsook your covenants? That same agency can now be drawn upon to exert a great spiritual power of redemption.”

Boyd K. Packer

The Rythm of Hope

As you begin to read, you should hear the beginnings of a song; A song titled HOPE. I was moved by this song, and the characteristics of the rhythm to my own definition and feelings of hope.

Those without hope find it hard to begin at first. It is slow, almost tedious sounding,requiring great effort to continue...but your efforts must remain constant. You want to drop the beat, but don't. You tread a little further, wondering if the mundane will ever change.

As you carry on, you find that the beat ever so slightly quickens, but remains constant. Then lightly, almost unexpected...you are uplifted...just a little, with a feeling that maybe it just isn't quite so bad. Your beat continues within you, driving you to remain constant...steady.

Moments come and you feel the brief glimmers of it creeping upon you. Just like the first steps of an infant, it comes and goes, but as your beat remains constant you find that Hope is slowly taking its place within your heart.

Piercing from the darkness, comes this small ray of light. It is warm, it is love, it is light and begins to replaces the weight upon your soul. As it gently swells, it is powerfully lifting you up to heights you didn't think you could reach, yet it is doing it ever so subtly and tenderly. The beat is no longer the for runner, it is now the support. It is what allowed the melody to take place and take root within you . The one is not complete without the other.

It isn't grand, there is no  magnificent display surrounding it....

it just IS.

You feel light, you feel free, you hear the joy within your soul. The cherished desire and the will to carry on is firmly fixed. In the end, the peace you sought is achieved through simple, consistent, and tender rhythms.

*If you would like to hear the song again, please scroll down to the playlist and click on the first song titled Hope

Gravity - Powerful depiction of addiction through dance

A very powerful portrayal of addiction through dance. My husband and I were so moved.....we both wept. Please scroll down and pause the playlist at the bottom before you watch the video.

New Site

Please visit the new site I found. www.pornharms.com

There you will find all sorts of information, helps, articles, etc. etc. It will help you better understand the nature of this addiction, how it harms you and your family, how girls are not insusceptible, and how to protect your loved ones.

Absent

I wanted to apologize for my absence lately. My computer is officially on the fritz, and the only access I currently have is it my place of employment. Not that there are many of you who follow my on a consistent basis, in fact I don't think there is even one who consistently checks my blog other than myself   =} In all honestly, my hope is that this blog can and will help someone along their journey through addiction. Whether it be the addict, or the loved one. But in the long run, this blog is really for me and for my journey.

Facebook

Wanna be my friend on Facebook? Feel free to come find me,

Sarah Gehret Heath.

(Make sure and post a little note with the friend request that you are associated with my blog)

Step 7- Humility

"Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings."

Humility being the keyword. We must always approach the Lord with reverence and with our pride stripped from us.

 I have been pondering the action words here,  " ask to have your shortcomings removed". I believe it to be a righteous desire, one worth asking...but I think even greater, to be coupled with that, is to have the courage "to give" them to Him. 

How can we show the Lord that we desperately want them removed if we still hang on to them, can't quite let go of them. We must surrender them unto the Lord in order for Him to take them from us. He will never remove from us our free will.

Have the humility to bare all to our God, Ask for him to remove our weaknesses and shortcomings, but have the courage and the faith to give them away.

A note from the spouse of an addict

What am I supposed to say this time? Some days I am able to sit with you, hold you, love you, encourage you, remind you that things will get better, that you will get better. Then there are days like today. Days when I am so angry; The days I think you just wont ever get it, the days I want to tell you what an idiot you are and how you are destroying our family, how I pretend that I trust you but really don't, but fear that if you really knew how I felt you would give up and say, "whats the point, no one else believes I can, so why should I try".

When is enough, enough? When does one finally get to that point where they realize they must change? Change for themselves, not for everyone around them. I know that people can change, and I know that God can help them change. The hard part is knowing whether or not you really want to change.

I know there will be relapses, I just wasn't expecting this one. I am usually good about them, but today I am not. Today I am hurt, today I am angry, and today I am going to be honest with you and with myself. You are not the only one you are hurting. WE are hurting too, and much of OUR hurt is due to consequences of your actions. Love and support and kindness will come, but today I think I'm going to let myself grieve.

Anonymous

Forgiveness

A word and an action that many of us seek in our lifetime, yet fail to give it in return. We often times make a judgement, and hold on to that judgment, eager to see an individual suffer, or punished. I wanted to address the loved ones of addicts who are finding it difficult to forgive.

In the Bible it reads, (Matt. 7:1-2.) " Judge not, that ye be not judged.

For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall me measured to you again."

The Lord will judge with the same measurements meted out by us. If we are harsh, we should not expect other than harshness. If we are merciful with those who injure us, he will be merciful with us in our errors. If we are unforgiving, he will leave us weltering in our own sins.

We are unable to look upon the heart and see anothers intentions, we can not discern what another thinks, often leading us to judge wrongfully. Only the Lord is capable of doing so. Do not hinder others progression as well as your own by refusing them the opportunity to change, and not forgiving them of their trespasses.

He who will not forgive others breaks down the bridge over which he himself must travel.

We are the Creators...

"Recovery provides peace, serenity and wholeness when we did not believe we could be whole again. We must do our own work to achieve these things by attending local support group meetings, working the 12 Steps, and beginning the process on our own, for we cannot rely on someone else's recovery to find our own serenity, and it is only through our personal relationship with the Savior that our self-inflicted wounds can be healed."